Three years ago today he chose to leave the planet. To my mother’s heart, it could be 3 days the pain is so deep. On this day, my womb knows. By the grace of God, friends, family, my mother’s love, my dog Shanti, healers of all kinds, shamans, plant medicine, surf therapy, my teachers, Lama, Gurus, counselors, yoga + buddhist practices, mother earth, jungle magic, Cheyne himself channeling me his messages, my own relentless faith, strength + courage, and mostly my two sons Skye & Ronin, i am still here. It’s been a harrowing rollercoaster of grief, confusion, ptsd craziness, relationships suffering, and gratefully, those angels who have held me up and never gave up on me through all the stages and rages of the worst mother’s tragedy that opened up the wounds of a lifetime. And here i am. Listening to Cheyne’s whispers, “Mama, let the pain go, where i was once in your belly, let new life now bloom, let it be filled with light. Stop asking questions, wondering, wishing, regretting, longing. I am here. We meet daily in the dimension of Spirit where love never dies. Let a new birth be born in that womb of light. Be reborn. I’m here, cheering you on and loving you endlessly as you loved me. Let’s live this life on earth and sky realm where miracles are possible. The miracle of love.” And so it is my friends, i’m crying, laughing, serving, healing forever, coming out of my solo journey, digging deep to be who Cheyne, God, and my soul wants me to be. Facing all the layers of wounds + past traumas, and passionately bringing the message and practices of self love to all in the hopes that my pain, our pain, may help others along the way to see the love inside that can show us the joy beyond sorrow that anything or anyone has caused in our life. Thank you. Let’s heal the world. Through our own dedication to self, everything and everyone will heal. This planet needs us all now. Don’t let a minute go by to love yourself + love the ones your with. My mother’s heart to you.