It’s The last new moon of 2020 and a power packed one at that, complete with a total solar eclipse and the solstice around the corner. The holydays are upon us right smack dab in the middle of plenty of world and governments in chaos, and for many of us, our hearts and heads are still spinning from the year we will never forget.
New moons are always an opportunity to start fresh, and eclipses come with the added punch to intensify anything we want to let go of or transform. As a Yogini and someone deeply committed to my own healing and awakening, I usually think about what areas of my life or self I need to improve. But this time feels different for me.
I have hit a new stage of my grief journey, where the melancholy of missing my son has been more painful than usual. It doesn’t help that I haven’t seen my other two sons in a long time, and there is a longing that I have not been able to fill no matter how much I pray, meditate, get healing sessions and otherwise.
I have been living a lovely life here in Costa Rica, doing what I love, barefoot by the sea, helping women achieve their dreams, supporting causes I believe in, deepening my relationship with my sons, have wonderful people to share life with, my dog by my side, and countless blessings, yet I am still living a life alongside extraordinary grief. So I have decided this time what I’m going to release this new moon is my own self-judgment, criticism, and expectations of MYSELF.
I am going to ALLOW myself to be with my grief, to extend the kindness and compassion I reserve for others to myself. One of the many things I have learned about grief is that sometimes it can only be carried, not fixed. Being human means we will all experience grief, and all kinds of varieties of it, and these days it seems the world's losses can sometimes compound our own.
I pray you may also extend kindness, compassion, and love to your own self for all that you have been through in the past year. We have been running a marathon. We are all becoming superheroes, and already are. We are not going to quit, we are not going to throw in the towel, we are not going to close our hearts. I might feel that way sometimes, but there’s an inner strength, a grace, and a faith that defies all understanding that carries me through. I pray you find that too.
I know you hear me saying it over and over again, but it bears repeating, The Power of Practice is what always pulls me through. I wake up with a prayer on my lips, a mantra to fill my brain with sacredness, yoga to awaken the Shakti in my body, breathwork to fill myself up with prana, healers, plant medicine, fruit, serving others, surrendering, asking for help, having patience and forgiveness for myself and others, and understanding that these waves will come and go. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
Oh my dear friends, I’m so grateful you’re taking the time to read this, and my prayer is that you ask for help when you need it, find sacred circles with friends, family, new connections, online groups, and all the wise teachers and healers that are standing by. Love, love, love yourselves, smile, give a helping hand, remember there are those so much less fortunate than us, and open your hearts and budgets to include helping make this world a better place and those less fortunate than ourselves, even if it’s a tiny bit this holiday season.
May you have ease of heart and a courageous spirit to match. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.
Holy holy love to You ~