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Struggling through the holidays can be real.

When everyone else is appearing to be surrounded by family and good times, and you're alone and dealing with sadness and challenging issues, it can feel even more painful than usual to deal with.

That would be me.

I'm speaking out because I am one of those people you probably think is doing just great surfing in paradise and living my dreams. That may be true on some accounts but I am a real human being who has taken some big hits in life and even currently. One of my committments to being on social media is to show up authentically and lead with courage AND vulnerability.

Here are my tips if you find yourself on either side of tender heart issues:

Ask for help. You know who your people are. Don't pretend to be ok. Let them know and ask for prayers or specific support you need.

If someone reaches out to you for support, take a moment to pause before you turn them away. Being turned away when your chips are down can be more painful than you know. Dig deep and see how you can be there for them.

Get involved with your own cause or give back in some way yourself. The reminder that others are also struggling and doing what YOU can is empowering.

If you are blessed enough to have a womens or mens group, let them know too. As the mentor/coach in my Soul on Fire Mystery School and other groups I lead, I could either fake it and be strong all the time, or show them that we all have our ups and downs and its ok to not be ok sometimes.

Get out in nature. Mother Earths embrace might be the only one you get, but it's a damn good one. Surfing, skiing, stargazing, walking, anything in the elements.

Read sacred texts and take refuge in your spiritual practices like meditation, mantra, prayer, yoga, and breath techniques. This is the time to deepen your practice, not skip it, even if you do it in bed or slobbering through tears. You know I have all the tools for you, and plenty are free or cheap, just ask me or look above or below.

Use ayurvedic herbs, essential oils, flower essences, sacred plant medicines, and natural remedies. STAY AWAY from alcohol and drugs. Period.

Watch comedies (only), read engrossing fiction, and listen to inspiring motivational speakers and music that uplifts you. I have to say my book WithYou Forever really helps me at this time. Yes I read my own book, especially Cheyne's messages.

I'm happy to share my other faves, so just ask me!

Remember you are never alone. I truly believe this. I will be "alone" for the holidays, missing my sons, and my son Cheyne in heaven, and dealing with a lot of other things. But I know that God and Goddess, and Universal Spirit is right here in the center of my heart.

In tantra we like to say that inside every inspiration and expiration is Shiva & Shakti making love, so remember that you are being loved with every breath, and best of all you have the love of your beautiful self, and self love is the one thing no one can take away from you!

You are all wise, please add your own tips below for all!


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